Most women want to know how to find a good man, or at least, how to know when a good one has found her. Although each man is unique, there are some common characteristics of every quality man. Here are a couple of ways to recognize whether he is a knight in shining armor or a scrub in dusty denim.
Prioritizes his relationship with God. This is the most vital characteristic in identifying a quality MOG (Mand of Gawd). Does he set aside time to study the word and apply what he learns? Does his lifestyle reflect what he reads? A man who keeps God on his calendar will keep you in his heart. It was once said, “let God make a man out of him before you try to make him a husband.” If God’s love is intricately interwoven into the fabric of a man’s DNA, then his hobbies, character and desires will reflect what HE wants and not what he wants.
“Let God make a man out of him before you try to make him a husband.”
He has integrity: Does he keep his word? Is he committed to demonstrating a lifestyle of superior character even if it’s only in front of an audience of one? Does he admit when he makes mistakes and is willing to correct them? Does he exhibit trustworthiness in his business, personal relationships and family? Perfection is unattainable; however walking towards it is something every man can strive towards. Integrity is a one way street without detours or exits.
He works: According to Genesis, before Adam got a boo, he had work to do. This doesn’t mean he has to have a traditional 9 to 5, 10 to 8, or 12 to 12; it simply means he lives out Ecclesiastes 9: 10 every day. A man that understands the value of hard work and discipline doesn’t wait for opportunities to knock, he breaks down doors in pursuit of them. This kind of work isn’t simply isolated to income generating activities; this is transferable to ministry and initiatives that produce spiritual capital. Employees can be downsized and given the cold shoulder, but a hard working man can create opportunities from obstacles .
He has vision and knows how to lead: A man without a vision is like a driverless semi-truck speeding at 85 on the highway. He’ll either fall short of his destination, seriously hurt himself in the process, or significantly injure others along the way. In most cases, it’s all of the above. John Maxwell said, “Leadership is influence, nothing more and nothing less.” A man’s influence and ability to make decisions is critical to fulfilling God’s purpose. Having vision and strong leadership are prerequisites for greatness, not byproducts. Can he initiate tough conversations? Does he speak up and stand up in the face of that which contradicts his personal convictions? There comes a time in life, and often it’s more than once, when a man can no longer remain neutral. Edwin Chapin put it this way, “Neutral men are the devil’s allies.”
Can he kill the bear: I recently had a conversation with a divorced woman and she said her husband was apathetic and couldn’t kill the bear. At first I was confused. Was she referring to his inability to hunt or literally kill bears? No, she was simply asserting most women want to know their man can and will protect her in the face of danger. Be it economic, spiritual, or physical. A man doesn’t have to return from the woods with a bear paw to prove his manhood, but if it’s date night and Smokey wants to start trouble, your man better be ready to drop him. When you look at models of manhood such as David, Moses, Elijah, Joshua, and many others, they were all willing and able to kill the bear.
“Submit to one another, out of reverence to Christ…”
– Ephesians 5:21
He knows how to submit: Ephesians 5:21 tells us to submit ourselves to one another. In today’s society the big “S” is taboo, but submission in marriage simply means, sub-mission: being willing to walk humbly under the greater mission of God’s plan and purpose. Submission also relates to the way he acknowledges and associates with a strong, Godly community in which he receives wisdom, rebuke, and accountability. Submission isn’t being too weak to drive; it’s being strong enough to take the backseat.
He is a D.I.I. man: In life we all go through the stages of dependence, independence and interdependence. A man depends on God, walks independently from the opinions from others, and recognizes his need for interdependence. A Godly man doesn’t need a woman to become a man; he wants her and recognizes how God uses her to help him become a better man. There’s a difference between having real challenges and unnecessary drama. Godly men know the difference. A D.I.I. man has learned the art of keeping God at the core, using other men to help him grow and uses wisdom to make solid, biblical, grown-man decisions. When he becomes a D.I.I. man, he can truly move from success to significance.
Men aren’t born, they‘re made; and in today’s society it’s very easy to lose sight of this and have a hard time recognizing authentic, biblical manhood. Men come in various packages, but the contents are all the same. They are the most powerful people on the planet, and when a man walks wholeheartedly in his purpose he is unstoppable. Good men can change their circumstance, but Godly men can change the world.